Tuesday, May 8, 2012

The end

Is de end! I m seriously done wif dis 8 yrs complicated n tiring relationship!
Im jus lying to myself dat it wil actually work out.
In fact it is jus another excuse for me to hold on to such stupid thing.
Everything is clear n settled on saturday nite.
I wil neve allow dis to hurt me anymor as im seriously gettin enuf of dis.
Single is always de best as i love freedom.
Wif great frens around, life eventually turns out to b better den being couple n attached.
Reflecting bac de pics we took all these years makes me tears n heartache de whole nite of sat!
I was crying so hard n feeling so pain on my chest dat i hav to let u go.
Is nw gonna remain as memories dat i once appreciate most!
I kept each n everypics of us into a big box.
Keeping all things dat belongs to us into a big huge box n hav these put on top of my cupboard.
Save all our soft copy photos in my hard disc into an 16gb pendrive n is kept into big box too! Deleted our pics one by one in my hard disc is so pain!
Jus realize, our videos n pictures actually took quite a large amount of space oso.
Oly 2 gb left out of 16gb.
Everything is nw kept.
I hope i could really start a new life withou her existing in my life.
Having her around these years has been one of my habit.
I rely to her to do anythin for me n she did so well in managing my life all these years.
8 years is nt a short period of time.
Its been a habit dat de first person i think of all these years is oly her whn i wake up.
No one could ever replace her!
Iv always been so scared of letting others to noe bou our relationship as im afraid dat people wif discriminate dis kinda abnormal relationship.
im actually hurting her indirectly as she doesnt care abou hw ppl think of us as long as we r happy.
She is such an amazing girl iv ever met.
I muz let her go if i love her as dis is de best way to love her.
Seeing u happy is wad i could ever wish for.
De heartache of breaking is totally unbearable.
Both of us hugs for de very last time on sat nite n it is de longest hug ever between us.
I love her! I could say i seriously love her!
No one could replace her in my heart forever.
We had de most romantic walk by de beach for one last time as dat was de place we had our first kiss, de place whr we both got attached 8 years ago, de place whr we always go for dating, de place whr we talk whn we quarrel, de place whr i first said i love u n lots more!!
Its has always been de first time no matter wad im doing.
She makes me alive.
Thinking of hw we got attached is so cute.
I was quarreling wif my previous ex wic is her best fren n she is always fixing dis by bcomin de middleman of both my previous ex wif me.
She has always been so understandin n try to fix my relationship wif my previous ex.
Afte a long period of time, i hav feelings for her for her kindness n sincerity.
N she loves me bcoz of de care i put into each of my relationship.
Thinking of us as enermy whn we first met is jus too cute!
De place we first met were at paradise beach as we r havin bbq for gebly's birthday.
I hate u so much whn i first met u coz u were too childish wif those hyperbola action n i hate girls wif tattoos.
U had a tattoo on ur butt wic is pretty nice bt i stil hate dat.
Both of us quarreled n non stop fighting all de time.
Bt dis is wad makes us special.
De time whr i confess to u, i was too shy to say dat as u were my ex's bestie.
I was so happy whn u say u hav feelings for me too.
We started our relationship afte a month of underground relationship.
De amazing time whr i always sneak out of my house to meet u at ur place.
I hav gt no transport so iv gt to take bus n walk quite a distance to c u everyday afte sch.
Sumtimes is gebly who fetches us.
Those sneaky n frightening moment was so challenging bt we were so happy all de time.
Kissing u n hugging u to sleep has been one of my favourite thing to do ever since de day i said 'i love u'
I knew u r de person dat can b wif me forever!
U r de very first girl dat i ever wanna b with FOREVER!
Remember 20th july2005?
Dat was de day u gt slap by ur mum whn she found out abou us.
I wil remember dis day forever as i could nt protect u frm ur mum.
I was so sad dat u wanted to breakup wif me whn ur mum ask u to do so.
Im also mad at u as y u giv up on us so easily whn dis is oly such a small matter btween lesbians.
Dat was de first breakup between us.
We were broke up for two weeks until i cal u n beg u to nt giv up on us.
We hug so tightly whn we met afte nt meeting for two weeks n we recover.
Another obstacle whn my uncle told my grandma bou seeing us holding hands in public.
My grandma confronted me n i denied.
Frm dat day onwards, i did nt hold hands wif u on public anymor as im afraid of ppl noeing abou us.
U were so sad as u werent care abou hw others think of u.
We've been thru so much n u seriously stay as a very important role In my heart afte my family.
Eventhou we r always fighting, bt we always reconcile afte few days.
I would neve say sorry n so do u.
Both of us is having de very same personality wic do nt like to surrender.
Bt dat is wad makes us special!
We've been on n off for de past 8 years.
We even broke up bcoz u cheated on me wif ur ex.
I was so hurt dat moment bt i did forgive u coz i noe i couldnt live withou u. I felt so stupid dat moment for forgiving u bt my heart tells me to forgive u.
De moment whr u say u r leaving totally hurts me.
Long distance relationship is totally nt working.
I knew things wouldnt work out whn u told me coz iv gt no confident in us.
Bt u gav me de courage to hold on.
We went thru all thick n thin together n dis is wad makes us strong.
Iv been crazily in love wif u since de first day i confess n said ' i love u '.
Frens around me Doesnt noe bou us as we r always in a very low profile relationship all these years.
People always wonder y do i always get angry easily whn i talk on fon as we always quarrel.
Everyone is guessing bt no one noes.
De each n everything u say r always inmy mind.
i remember i asked u once, wad makes u love me. Ur answer totally melts my heart n il keep it forever in my heart.
I remember my first tattoo wif u.
Is on our breast, is a small love shape wif our initial 'wt'.
No one noes bou dis tattoo.
Til nw, my profile display name is always 'wt' behind!
Twsy wt!
Baby, u neve fail to light up my life.
U wil b always de one i love most in my life.
De thick n thin we went thru all these years wil remain forever in my heart.
I dun think i wil ever find anyone like u anymor in my life.
i wil remain single for de rest of my life coz no one could ever replace ur importance.
Iv always wanted to start a new relationship wif oth dat treats me so gud. Bt i couldnt coz whenever i go out wif dem, de one n oly person i my heart is u!
Baby, allow me to say one very last time ' i love u'.
May u find a person who appreciates u n love u wif all she has, protects u n most importantly, neve make u cry!

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